HOW CAN I COPE WITH MY CONCERN OR ANXIETY? Part 1
1. Learn more about your camp.
We advocate learning about camps for many reasons. First and foremost, the more you learn, the better chance you’ll have of choosing the best camp for your child. We also advocate learning about camps because the process will decrease any apprehension you have—apprehension caused by
not knowing the truth, or not having all the facts. If some aspect of camp remains unknown after you’ve inspected the camp’s materials and talked to other families, don’t hesitate to call the director. Lingering questions generate anxiety, so find out what you need to know, and then relax.
2. Talk to other camp parents.
It helps to talk with other camp parents. Knowing that you’re not alone in your concern or anxiety is comforting. Parents who have already sent their kids to overnight camp can tell you about their experience. They can help you think positively by telling you about the benefits of overnight camp. They may even have some new ideas for managing your “childsickness.” If you don’t personally know other parents whose kids have gone to overnight camp, then call the camp you chose. As we mentioned in Chapter 7, some camps have a referral list of parents who enjoy talking with other parents. This can be a source of social support and a powerful way to allay your fears. Believe us, most of the parents of the seven million kids who go to camp each year enjoy the time when their kids are at camp.
3. Prepare your child for cabin life
At some point, every child finds it challenging to get along with others. Most parents know how small disagreements (“He’s touching me!” “She’s on my side!” “That’s mine!” “He started it!”) can mushroom into a war between two kids. Now imagine eight or ten kids in a one-room cabin with no one’s parents around. Therein lie the many challenges of cabin life at overnight camp. It’s a significant lifestyle change from living in a home—even one with lots of siblings. Naturally, some parents have concerns about how well their child will adjust to living with a large peer group. Here’s how you might broach the topic with your future camper:
At this point, you might ask your son or daughter for suggestions about the best ways to respect and get along with others. Keep prompting for more suggestions, and then add your own ideas, until you’ve covered these key points:
1. Learn more about your camp.
We advocate learning about camps for many reasons. First and foremost, the more you learn, the better chance you’ll have of choosing the best camp for your child. We also advocate learning about camps because the process will decrease any apprehension you have—apprehension caused by
2. Talk to other camp parents.
It helps to talk with other camp parents. Knowing that you’re not alone in your concern or anxiety is comforting. Parents who have already sent their kids to overnight camp can tell you about their experience. They can help you think positively by telling you about the benefits of overnight camp. They may even have some new ideas for managing your “childsickness.” If you don’t personally know other parents whose kids have gone to overnight camp, then call the camp you chose. As we mentioned in Chapter 7, some camps have a referral list of parents who enjoy talking with other parents. This can be a source of social support and a powerful way to allay your fears. Believe us, most of the parents of the seven million kids who go to camp each year enjoy the time when their kids are at camp.
3. Prepare your child for cabin life
At some point, every child finds it challenging to get along with others. Most parents know how small disagreements (“He’s touching me!” “She’s on my side!” “That’s mine!” “He started it!”) can mushroom into a war between two kids. Now imagine eight or ten kids in a one-room cabin with no one’s parents around. Therein lie the many challenges of cabin life at overnight camp. It’s a significant lifestyle change from living in a home—even one with lots of siblings. Naturally, some parents have concerns about how well their child will adjust to living with a large peer group. Here’s how you might broach the topic with your future camper:
“Overnight camp is different from home. Here, you live with a few other people, but at camp, you might be living with ten in the same cabin. In our neighborhood, or in your class at school, you’ve got about a dozen kids to play with, but at camp, there might be a hundred or more! Plus, all of these kids will be different from you in some way. They’re going to look, dress, act, and speak differently than you. And some of them will like different games, sports, and music than you. If you want to make friends, you’ve got to respect them all. Of course, you don’t have to be everybody’s best friend. You don’t even have to like all the other kids. But you do have to try getting along with everyone.”
At this point, you might ask your son or daughter for suggestions about the best ways to respect and get along with others. Keep prompting for more suggestions, and then add your own ideas, until you’ve covered these key points:
- Treat others fairly. The Golden Rule is: Treat other people the way you want them to treat you.
- Cooperate. Work with your cabin mates, not against them. Lend a helping hand. Listen to your cabin leader.
- Be a good sport. Play fairly, follow the rules, and remember to congratulate the other team with a handshake or a camp cheer.
- Use good manners. All campers and staff appreciate pleases and thank yous. Make more room for your cabin mates by keeping your elbows off the dinner table.
- Do your share of the work. Participate in cabin clean-up, clearing the dinner table, and other cabin chores.
- Keep your stuff in order. Small cabins feel crowded when they’re messy. Check out Chapter 11 for great packing tips.
- Care for camp property. Treat equipment with care, so that others may enjoy it after you. Tell a cabin leader if something is broken. Conserve plants and other nature.
- Respect other kids’ privacy. Give your cabin mates some space, especially when they’re changing. Always knock before opening a door. Use safe touch.
- Ask before you borrow things. Most kids say “yes” to simple requests if you ask first. While you’re using someone else’s gear, treat it like your own.
- Use your words. Any disagreement can be solved by talking it out. Physical violence is never tolerated at camp.
- Talk with your cabin leader. Whether it’s good or bad, your cabin leader wants to know what’s up. Tell your leader what’s going OK and what’s not. If there’s a big problem in the cabin, ask your cabin leader to arrange a cabin meeting so you and your cabin mates can work together to solve the problem.
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