CAN I PREDICT HOMESICKNESS?
You can roughly predict the strength of homesick feelings, by looking at characteristics of your child
and the circumstances surrounding her separation from home. As you know, mild homesick feelings are normal. However, the young people who are most likely to experience intense homesickness at camp are those who:
You can roughly predict the strength of homesick feelings, by looking at characteristics of your child
- Have never spent time away from home before
- Feel like they can’t trust other people very much
- Are worried about spending time away from home
- Think that camp is going to be crummy
- Feel forced to go away to camp
The factors above might seem intuitive, but you might be surprised to know that:
- Kids who live far from camp do not get more homesick than kids who live close to camp.
- Kids who don’t go to camp with a friend from home are no more likely to have homesick feelings than kids who go to camp with a friend.
- There’s a lot you can do before you get to camp to prevent strong homesick feelings.
Actually, most kids are pretty good at guessing how strong their own natural homesick feelings will be. If your child is curious, you can get a piece of paper and draw a number scale like the one below. Then, try the following exercise with your child. You might introduce the exercise by saying something like:
“A while ago, you asked me how strong I thought your homesick feelings would be at camp. My guess is that they won’t bother you very much, but you’re probably better than I at answering that question.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
not at all sort of very
strong strong strong
strong strong strong
- If your child guessed 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4, say something like: “Your natural homesick feelings probably won’t bother you at all while you’re at camp. If you happen to think about home, it will probably make you smile.”
- If your child guessed 5, 6, or 7, say something like: “Your homesick feelings might bother you once or twice. However, if you try hard to have fun, then these feelings won’t bother you as much. To get good ideas about having fun at camp, let’s read the Just for Kids chapter, and check out the stuff that camp has sent us in the mail.”
- If your child guessed 8, 9, or 10, say something like: “Your homesick feelings might get in the way on some days. Maybe not. The good news is that learning how to deal with homesickness, before you go to camp, always makes you feel better. Let’s read the Just for Kids chapter, plus the stuff that camp has sent us in the mail. You’ll find lots of helpful hints for having a great time at camp. During some practice time away from home, you can try your favorite ‘anti-homesickness’ strategies.”
If you feel reluctant to talk about homesickness with your child, you’re in good company. Nevertheless, you’ll be pleased to know that our research has repeatedly demonstrated that talking about homesickness does not make kids more likely to feel homesick at camp. Of course, talking about anything for too long gets boring, so you mostly should focus on how much fun camp will be. If some of the ideas in this chapter do arouse strong feelings in your child, it’s a good idea to talk about those feelings now, before camp starts.
Research has also shown that most kids who learn to deal with homesick feelings before they go to camp are great at coping with those feelings during camp. They truly enjoy the experience. Also, the more that kids learn about their particular camp before they go, the more fun they have.
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