CHAPTER 8
EMOTIONAL PREPARATION AND HOMESICKNESS PREVENTION
Homesickness is the distress or impairment caused by an actual or anticipated separation from home.
It’s characterized by acute longing and preoccupying thoughts of home and other beloved objects. In our research, we found that about 95% of all girls and boys miss something about home when they’re away at camp. In other words, homesick feelings are normal. Even the adults at camp get a little homesick. They spend at least nine weeks away from their homes.
Besides being a normal developmental phenomenon, homesickness also has a silver lining. As a camper once told us, “When you miss home, it means you love your parents. Plus, you know you’ve got a lot to look forward to once you get home.”
Some psychologists believe that the homesickness some parents and children feel when they’re apart is evidence of the strength of the bond between them. It is comforting to know that love underlies homesickness.
Kids miss all different things when they’re away from home. We asked a few hundred campers what they miss most and least when they’re at overnight camp. Here’s what they told us:
What kids miss most:
What kids miss least:
Homesick feelings are a little different for everyone. One camper might miss his dog the most; another might miss her father’s home cooking. Wouldn’t it be strange if there wasn’t something kids missed about home?
THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT HOMESICKNESS
Even though homesick feelings are common, most kids enjoy themselves tremendously at overnight summer camp. On average, kids in our studies rated their camp stay an “8” or “9” on a scale from 0 to 10. No wonder more than seven million kids go away to overnight camp each year. In fact, many return to the same camp year after year.
Fortunately, severe homesickness is rare. In our research, we found that only 1 in 5 children has a bothersome amount of homesickness, and only about 1 in 14 children has a truly distressing degree of homesickness. Fewer than 1 in 100 kids have to return home early because of severe homesickness.
If you and your child do some simple preparation in the months before opening day, there’s an even lower chance that he will experience a bothersome or distressing amount of homesickness. In the next section, we’ll outline the best ways to prepare your child for spending time away from home.
In addition, there are lots of things you and your child can do during camp if homesick feelings become bothersome. Campers have told us that the strategies outlined in the Just for Kids chapter work especially well. Encourage your child to read that chapter. For parents, we recommend that you implement the “anti-homesickness” strategies in this chapter, and read Chapter 13 to better understand how to respond to a homesick letter from your son or daughter.
Learning to cope with homesickness is a skill your child can use the next time she’s away from home. Once children recognize the feeling of homesickness, cope with it, and survive a brief separation from home, their confidence about future separations skyrockets. They really do gain independence, and their self-confidence shapes their attitudes about future separations. Having a confident, positive attitude is one of the best predictors of having a good time at camp. In a way, the cure for homesickness is actually overcoming an initial bout of homesickness. It’s like exercise. It may hurt a little, but it makes you stronger. Once your child learns to manage her homesick feelings, she’ll have more fun during school trips, sleep-overs, and even freshman year in college.
EMOTIONAL PREPARATION AND HOMESICKNESS PREVENTION
Before I went to camp for the first time, I was nervous. I started thinking, “What are the other kids going to be like? What if they don’t like me? What if I’m homesick?” I guess most kids are a little nervous before they go to camp, but it wears off. I mean, I still get butterflies in my stomach when we drive to camp on opening day, but that’s just because I’m excited.
-Dave, age 13
-Dave, age 13
Homesickness is the distress or impairment caused by an actual or anticipated separation from home.
Besides being a normal developmental phenomenon, homesickness also has a silver lining. As a camper once told us, “When you miss home, it means you love your parents. Plus, you know you’ve got a lot to look forward to once you get home.”
Some psychologists believe that the homesickness some parents and children feel when they’re apart is evidence of the strength of the bond between them. It is comforting to know that love underlies homesickness.
What kids miss most:
- parents and family
- friends from home
- pets
- boyfriends or girlfriends
- home cooking
- junk food
- television
What kids miss least:
- school and homework
- chores and responsibilities
- sisters and brothers
Homesick feelings are a little different for everyone. One camper might miss his dog the most; another might miss her father’s home cooking. Wouldn’t it be strange if there wasn’t something kids missed about home?
THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT HOMESICKNESS
Even though homesick feelings are common, most kids enjoy themselves tremendously at overnight summer camp. On average, kids in our studies rated their camp stay an “8” or “9” on a scale from 0 to 10. No wonder more than seven million kids go away to overnight camp each year. In fact, many return to the same camp year after year.
Fortunately, severe homesickness is rare. In our research, we found that only 1 in 5 children has a bothersome amount of homesickness, and only about 1 in 14 children has a truly distressing degree of homesickness. Fewer than 1 in 100 kids have to return home early because of severe homesickness.
If you and your child do some simple preparation in the months before opening day, there’s an even lower chance that he will experience a bothersome or distressing amount of homesickness. In the next section, we’ll outline the best ways to prepare your child for spending time away from home.
In addition, there are lots of things you and your child can do during camp if homesick feelings become bothersome. Campers have told us that the strategies outlined in the Just for Kids chapter work especially well. Encourage your child to read that chapter. For parents, we recommend that you implement the “anti-homesickness” strategies in this chapter, and read Chapter 13 to better understand how to respond to a homesick letter from your son or daughter.
Learning to cope with homesickness is a skill your child can use the next time she’s away from home. Once children recognize the feeling of homesickness, cope with it, and survive a brief separation from home, their confidence about future separations skyrockets. They really do gain independence, and their self-confidence shapes their attitudes about future separations. Having a confident, positive attitude is one of the best predictors of having a good time at camp. In a way, the cure for homesickness is actually overcoming an initial bout of homesickness. It’s like exercise. It may hurt a little, but it makes you stronger. Once your child learns to manage her homesick feelings, she’ll have more fun during school trips, sleep-overs, and even freshman year in college.
PREVIOUS TABLE OF CONTENTS NEXT
©2009 by Jon Malinowski & Christopher Thurber. All rights reserved.
No part of this website may be copied or used in any way without permission. If you wish to share the content of this site, please link to http://summercamphandbook.com or contact us for licensing.
