DEBRIEFING YOUR CHILD’S CABIN LEADER
Regardless of how your child acts on closing day, it’s always good to get an experienced adult perspective. The cabin leader is the best place to start. These conversations can be insightful, but you may have to probe to get the information you want. Most cabin leaders tend to smile a lot and tell
parents that the session went well. Part of their job is to have a positive attitude. Nevertheless, all cabin leaders mentally evaluate the kids with whom they work. How could they not have some opinions based on a week or more of living with your child?
If you want a more thorough picture than what your child may tell you, experiment with some of the questions below. In some cases, the answers may not be ones you want to hear, but don’t hold it against the cabin leader if you ask for an honest response and she gives it to you. Most parents appreciate the candor of another adult’s opinion because they are always looking for ways to help their kids improve. However, if you don’t want to know, don’t ask.
Naturally, some cabin leaders, especially the young ones, will have difficulty telling you that your child was lazy, disrespectful, aggressive, or defiant. If you feel as if you’re only getting sugar-coated pleasantries, but you suspect otherwise, try to make the leader feel at ease. Tell him why you are interested in any observations or suggestions that she might have about your child.
Finally, please respect that fact that every cabin leader probably has several families to deal with concurrently on closing day. Wait your turn, and when you get it, try not to monopolize the cabin leader’s time.
Good Questions to Ask Cabin Leaders:
TIPPING
This is a controversial topic. The expectation for tips varies widely from one camp to another. Many camps have a published “No Tipping” policy in their information packet. Cabin leaders at these camps are supposed to refuse tips from parents. In practice, however, a college student who is making a meager salary working at overnight camp is probably not going to turn down a twenty-dollar bill. Other camps don’t mention tipping, but the cabin leaders expect it. Just like a server at a restaurant, these leaders feel disgruntled if they don’t receive a tip.
To know best how to handle tipping, first check in the camp’s information packet. If there’s a “No Tipping” policy, you do not need to give your child’s cabin leader a cash tip, and he won’t expect it. Of course, you can still tip him, or show your appreciation in other ways, if you’re so inclined. For example:
You can also show your appreciation to the whole camp by donating:
If the camp’s information packet says nothing about tipping, you are not obligated to tip. However, it may be worthwhile to check with other parents, alumni, or the camp director about any unspoken tipping rules. It’s rare for camps to have a published “pro-tipping” policy, but if yours does, that makes your decision easier. Remember, you always have the option of showing your appreciation in one of the non-traditional ways listed above.
Material objects are not the only way of showing appreciation. Indeed, what we most covet from parents is sincerity, plain and simple. Cabin leaders beam when parents takes them aside, looks them in the eyes, and say something like, “Pete, I know how hard you guys work. I just want you to know how much I appreciate that. My kid loves this place, and it’s not because of the nice weather or the fun activities. It’s because of people like you, who are sterling role models. You’re doing important work here. Keep it up.” Comments like that—moments of heartfelt thanks—are worth more than any sort of tip.
If closing day is too early to evaluate exactly how the overnight camp experience influenced your child, you can always delay the expression of your gratitude. Letters are a great way to thank a cabin leader or give valuable feedback to the camp director. Many camps even hand out exit questionnaires on closing day. These give families a chance to reflect on the session and provide constructive criticism. Send your comments back to camp as soon as you can, while the memories are fresh. Many directors read these notes and evaluations aloud at staff meetings to imbue additional enthusiasm and gratitude to cabin leaders.
Regardless of how your child acts on closing day, it’s always good to get an experienced adult perspective. The cabin leader is the best place to start. These conversations can be insightful, but you may have to probe to get the information you want. Most cabin leaders tend to smile a lot and tell
If you want a more thorough picture than what your child may tell you, experiment with some of the questions below. In some cases, the answers may not be ones you want to hear, but don’t hold it against the cabin leader if you ask for an honest response and she gives it to you. Most parents appreciate the candor of another adult’s opinion because they are always looking for ways to help their kids improve. However, if you don’t want to know, don’t ask.
Naturally, some cabin leaders, especially the young ones, will have difficulty telling you that your child was lazy, disrespectful, aggressive, or defiant. If you feel as if you’re only getting sugar-coated pleasantries, but you suspect otherwise, try to make the leader feel at ease. Tell him why you are interested in any observations or suggestions that she might have about your child.
Finally, please respect that fact that every cabin leader probably has several families to deal with concurrently on closing day. Wait your turn, and when you get it, try not to monopolize the cabin leader’s time.
Good Questions to Ask Cabin Leaders:
- How did the session go?
- What did you enjoy most about the session?
- What were some of the biggest challenges you faced?
- I’m always looking for pointers. How did my child interact with the other kids in the cabin? What do you see as her strengths and weaknesses?
- Which activities did my child like best? How did her skills improve?
- Were there any discipline problems with my child? How were they handled?
- Was my child polite? Did she have good table manners? Did she eat and sleep well?
- Is there anything that you suggest we work on before next year at camp?
TIPPING
This is a controversial topic. The expectation for tips varies widely from one camp to another. Many camps have a published “No Tipping” policy in their information packet. Cabin leaders at these camps are supposed to refuse tips from parents. In practice, however, a college student who is making a meager salary working at overnight camp is probably not going to turn down a twenty-dollar bill. Other camps don’t mention tipping, but the cabin leaders expect it. Just like a server at a restaurant, these leaders feel disgruntled if they don’t receive a tip.
To know best how to handle tipping, first check in the camp’s information packet. If there’s a “No Tipping” policy, you do not need to give your child’s cabin leader a cash tip, and he won’t expect it. Of course, you can still tip him, or show your appreciation in other ways, if you’re so inclined. For example:
- homemade baked goods
- something from your hometown
- that day’s newspaper and/or a current magazine
You can also show your appreciation to the whole camp by donating:
- money to the camp facilities development or leadership training fund
- books to the camp library
- items for the staff lounge (old furniture, a coffee maker, rugs)
If the camp’s information packet says nothing about tipping, you are not obligated to tip. However, it may be worthwhile to check with other parents, alumni, or the camp director about any unspoken tipping rules. It’s rare for camps to have a published “pro-tipping” policy, but if yours does, that makes your decision easier. Remember, you always have the option of showing your appreciation in one of the non-traditional ways listed above.
Material objects are not the only way of showing appreciation. Indeed, what we most covet from parents is sincerity, plain and simple. Cabin leaders beam when parents takes them aside, looks them in the eyes, and say something like, “Pete, I know how hard you guys work. I just want you to know how much I appreciate that. My kid loves this place, and it’s not because of the nice weather or the fun activities. It’s because of people like you, who are sterling role models. You’re doing important work here. Keep it up.” Comments like that—moments of heartfelt thanks—are worth more than any sort of tip.
If closing day is too early to evaluate exactly how the overnight camp experience influenced your child, you can always delay the expression of your gratitude. Letters are a great way to thank a cabin leader or give valuable feedback to the camp director. Many camps even hand out exit questionnaires on closing day. These give families a chance to reflect on the session and provide constructive criticism. Send your comments back to camp as soon as you can, while the memories are fresh. Many directors read these notes and evaluations aloud at staff meetings to imbue additional enthusiasm and gratitude to cabin leaders.
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