ELECTRONIC MESSAGES
Many camps now have fax machines and e-mail access, both of which allow faster written communication with your child. However, speed comes at the expense of personalizing. Sending your child a fax or an e-mail may make her feel more like a business colleague than your own flesh and blood. There is no substitute for a handwritten letter.
If you must fax or e-mail, either because you’re sending an urgent message or because it’s all you
have time for, then be sure to verify the camp’s policy and procedures for electronic messages. Many camps allow kids to receive faxes and e-mail, but do not allow them to send. The philosophy at most camps is that kids should be playing with each other and having fun, not sitting at a fax machine or a computer.
Don’t have any illusions about how fast your fax or e-mail message may be getting to your child. We’ve visited some camps where the fax machine and computer in the central office are literally miles from the kids’ cabins. Staff stopped by the central office only occasionally, and then they had to deliver the faxes or e-mails by hand. It was sometimes two days before children got their faxes...about the same time it takes to send a traditional letter.
PHONE CALLS
As with faxes and e-mail, different camps have different policies about phone calls. Be sure you and your child understand the camp’s phone policy before opening day. During camp, it’s important to respect that policy because it’s based on years of experience with what works and what doesn’t work at that particular camp.
The experience at most camps, especially those with more than 100 campers, and sessions longer than one week, is that phone contact between parents and children makes homesickness worse. When a child hears his mom’s or dad’s voice, it can arouse a deep longing for home. For that reason, and because gaining independence is a chief goal of overnight camp, most do not allow children to talk to their parents on the phone except in rare emergencies. By comparison, the experience at other camps, especially ones with few campers and short sessions, is that phone contact between parents and children can be supportive and helpful. Such camps allow children to talk to their parents on the phone every day, if they wish.
Both philosophies have merit, and camp directors stand by them. However, no matter how you slice it, phone calls undermine campers’ independence by breaking the continuity required for that independence. By contrast, letters take a few days to go back and forth, so they actually foster independence and offer support at the same time.
If your child’s camp does allow phone calls, we recommend keeping them to a minimum. This will help ensure that your child gets the most out of his overnight camp experience. If the camp does not allow phone calls, don’t ask the camp director to make an exception just for you, for a routine phone call. Instead, rely on traditional letters, postcards, and “care packages” for routine, heartfelt messages.
In a true emergency, such as the death of a family member, you should be allowed to talk with your child. Very few camps, if any, prohibit parents from talking to their children in dire emergencies. However, understand that it may take some time to get your child to the phone. Children can sometimes be involved in activities miles from the camp phone. If children are on an out-of-camp trip, they may even be completely inaccessible. For these reasons, it’s common to have to leave a message with the camp staff to have your child call you back. This can be frustrating if the news is urgent and bad, but that’s the reality of the situation.
Finally, don’t panic if you get an unsolicited phone call from camp. It could be about something positive. Sometimes, camp staff will call to report how well things are going. These are fun phone calls to get. Other times, camp staff will call parents to enlist their help solving a complex behavioral or emotional problem. These are not such fun calls to get, but as a parent, you can offer valuable advice. Parents who receive a call from the camp about some problem their child is having generally feel grateful that the camp cares enough to inform them and enlist their assistance. Remember, the person you’re talking to is a camping professional, but you are a parenting professional.
Many camps now have fax machines and e-mail access, both of which allow faster written communication with your child. However, speed comes at the expense of personalizing. Sending your child a fax or an e-mail may make her feel more like a business colleague than your own flesh and blood. There is no substitute for a handwritten letter.
If you must fax or e-mail, either because you’re sending an urgent message or because it’s all you
Don’t have any illusions about how fast your fax or e-mail message may be getting to your child. We’ve visited some camps where the fax machine and computer in the central office are literally miles from the kids’ cabins. Staff stopped by the central office only occasionally, and then they had to deliver the faxes or e-mails by hand. It was sometimes two days before children got their faxes...about the same time it takes to send a traditional letter.
PHONE CALLS
As with faxes and e-mail, different camps have different policies about phone calls. Be sure you and your child understand the camp’s phone policy before opening day. During camp, it’s important to respect that policy because it’s based on years of experience with what works and what doesn’t work at that particular camp.
The experience at most camps, especially those with more than 100 campers, and sessions longer than one week, is that phone contact between parents and children makes homesickness worse. When a child hears his mom’s or dad’s voice, it can arouse a deep longing for home. For that reason, and because gaining independence is a chief goal of overnight camp, most do not allow children to talk to their parents on the phone except in rare emergencies. By comparison, the experience at other camps, especially ones with few campers and short sessions, is that phone contact between parents and children can be supportive and helpful. Such camps allow children to talk to their parents on the phone every day, if they wish.
Both philosophies have merit, and camp directors stand by them. However, no matter how you slice it, phone calls undermine campers’ independence by breaking the continuity required for that independence. By contrast, letters take a few days to go back and forth, so they actually foster independence and offer support at the same time.
If your child’s camp does allow phone calls, we recommend keeping them to a minimum. This will help ensure that your child gets the most out of his overnight camp experience. If the camp does not allow phone calls, don’t ask the camp director to make an exception just for you, for a routine phone call. Instead, rely on traditional letters, postcards, and “care packages” for routine, heartfelt messages.
In a true emergency, such as the death of a family member, you should be allowed to talk with your child. Very few camps, if any, prohibit parents from talking to their children in dire emergencies. However, understand that it may take some time to get your child to the phone. Children can sometimes be involved in activities miles from the camp phone. If children are on an out-of-camp trip, they may even be completely inaccessible. For these reasons, it’s common to have to leave a message with the camp staff to have your child call you back. This can be frustrating if the news is urgent and bad, but that’s the reality of the situation.
Finally, don’t panic if you get an unsolicited phone call from camp. It could be about something positive. Sometimes, camp staff will call to report how well things are going. These are fun phone calls to get. Other times, camp staff will call parents to enlist their help solving a complex behavioral or emotional problem. These are not such fun calls to get, but as a parent, you can offer valuable advice. Parents who receive a call from the camp about some problem their child is having generally feel grateful that the camp cares enough to inform them and enlist their assistance. Remember, the person you’re talking to is a camping professional, but you are a parenting professional.
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